Winged Rivers

Huzzah for randomsome1 and... and that guy. O_O Zen!! ZenofNilismsms are now married! XD It was super awesome wedding times. Random looked BEAUTIFUL in her awesome outfit.

And I think I'm drunk?

I don't know what I am, but I'm happy!! XD I drank lots. Lots and lots. I usually only do that at Reilly's house. I feel comfortable drinking there, so I figure what's the harm? 'Long as I don't do it anywhere else.

So yes. Started off with Vampire wine (with strawberry pop in it!! Yum!), then had a White Russian. Then had the punch with Everclear. Then a Red Bull/something shot. Then some food, then cherry vodka drink and whatever the hell Random made. XD Then some more Everclear and another shot and then orange juice. It made me less sick.

But RANDOM is super awesome and got married! I honestly teared up a little. I really am happy for her. She deserves everything good and wonderful. And Zen and her defintely make such a nice couple. Especially in pirate clothing. XD There was a huge ass tent and a pig that was roasted and it was SO DELICIOUS. I has some in the fridge. Shall eat tomorrow, yes yes.

FUCK I FORGOT A PIECE OF CAKE.

Anyway, rum cake was yummy. The entire wedding was aweshum and really went along well!! There were vows said and that's what made me tear up, seeing how HAPPY they were. It really was something cool to behold. AND FOR ONCE. A wedding that wasn't about GOD AND HOW IT WAS ALL GOD'S PLAN AND THEIR UNION IS 'CAUSE GOD DEEMED IT SO. I liked how it was about being together, but being individuals.

...

Crap. This has taken me fourty-five minutes to write 'cause of distractions. And now I'm tired. SO ALL IN ALL. Rock band was great fun times WITH MY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT IN MUSE'S HYSTERIA OF WHICH I LOVE.

RANDOM AND ZEN HAD AN AWESOME WEDDING OF AWESOME PROPORTIONS.

BIG TENT WAS BIG.

BEST WISHES TO RANDOM AND ZEN!! MAY YOUR LOVE BE LOVABLE AND FULL OF HAPPY TIMES LIKE BEFORE TODAY.

The days are getting shorter to me, despite it being summer and the sun rests well past eight o'clock. I'm thankful that while my body seems to be wreaking havoc on my mind, my writing productivity is increasing. I'm writing for both novels right now; Atticus is going along swimmingly as I write a new chapter, go back and fix the incredibly horrible mistakes and just plain out wrong paragraphs. To Protect That Smile keeps popping random scenes in my head, and I write them out. It's flushing out the King character who I've been having trouble designing. At least his personality is okay to go.

;-; My jeans are tight.

At first I was like "ooh cool, they don't fall down as much! ... wait." I hate this. I really do. I LIKE being voluptuous (I use that term loosely, but at least I was comfortable in my weight!). But I don't feel pretty at all. The last time I had an image problem I think was the early years of high school. Then after a while I just grew to like myself. I was happy not being super skinny and rather fancied my hips. I liked how I can still see my toes, hell, even reach them. I prided in not having a double chin.

Now it just seems that my body's deciding to crap on itself. *sigh* It's not like I'm eating any different. And I don't exercise, but I NEVER have. And it never seemed that I grew because of it. So why now?

But yeah. In addition to this horrible body image I have, my stomach is a constant pit of twists and pains. I've been meaning to call for an appointment with me doctor, but I haven't had a chance to ask Mom exactly WHICH doctor is ours. And I'm having urges, which is the scariest of all. Thankfully I've been strong enough to say no, and that makes me stronger when the urges get stronger. I'm not near a breaking point, but it has me worried. It's SUMMER. Sunshine = endorfine count rise = happy times. And hell, why not one more complaint, my legs are stiff and my back hurts. Whoot, oldness is approaching despite me bein' in my young twenties.

Geez, it seems all I'm doing lately is complaining. Alright, lemme vent just this last time then that's the end of it. XD I'll start complaining about my simple problems, like how badly I want a BJD or how lonely it is on the role playing front. Or how my Open Canvas doesn't work on the main computer. ;-; Which is actually incredibly sad. As much as I like Photoshop, OC is my love.

Mmkayz. Last time, I swear.

So, discount bookstore, right? Books're cheap an' so's almost everything else there. We do get some people who are like "If only this was a dollar cheaper..." but that's cool. Hell, I've done that. XD *waiting for some stuff to get to clearance before I go to buy*

I can't stand this one thing though. We buy books from the public. That's kewl, it's business. But sometimes we get in Advanced Copies or something. I didn't quite know what those were as this big fat, greasy loser walks in with some merchandise and goes "I want to try you out because I have an Ebay account because I'm a special book reviewer and I sell shit for lots of money blah blah and I'm a prick". So I'm like "Alright, gonna be 'bout twenty minutes 'cause I'm already working on something, so go ahead and sit down and enjoy the coffee and AC."

"Nah, I'll just watch. I'm always interested to see what other people have because I'm a big fat prick who loves to be nebby."

(All of his text is summerized or whatever. I generally forgot his main point, I mostly heard "blah" and "I'm a douche".)

Half an hour later, I finally get to him. So the guy who's already been breathing down my neck, watching me do this other buy, starts chatting me up about how all of the stuff he has isn't even published yet (and these are apparently REAL books waiting to be put out to market, not Advanced Copies). He has a few audio books and some kid books alongside of them. I'm getting a bit curious into this as I inquire him how much it costs to be what he is.

"Oh no, they pay me."

"So you get all of these books for free?" He gives a nod and I FINALLY get to do something I've always kinda wanted to do; be a bitch. XD

I give him the biggest fake smile I know and say incredibly perky, "boy, that sure is lucky."

...

Okay, yeah, not THE bitchiest thing to say, but I don't say anything negative to customers, even if they're swearing me up and down. But I continued to talk to him and randomly just started talking about ANNOYING things and taking my sweet time. Mostly because this guy is a fuckin'... fuckin'... bigot or bastard or something. I mean, he reviews shit, get books for free, then sells them. I know that some people will be like "well, yeah, but that's smart, they're GIVING him free books!"

Isn't it illegal though? I don't know, it just left a real nasty taste in my mouth. So when the buy exceeded a certain dollar amount, I had to call a manager. My manager reviewed what I've done and informs the prick what the price is. His response?

"That's an insult, I can make easily four hundred with these in New York!"

Fucker. Then why the hell try a HALF PRICED book store!? Why even be a moron and sell your books at all!? He even told me he sold them to his friends. DX If I got free books, I'd GIVE them to my friends and not be a prick and charge them.

I got to talking to my manager today about it 'cause there was a lady who had a few Advanced Copies of shit and he's like "yes, we will buy them, but you can CHOOSE to pay as little as you want and just pitch them out. And yes. It is illegal."

Now I kinda wish I had buttered up to that fat butterball and gotten his ebay account or something. Turned him in. DX

I wuvs my new journal. XD Time to make a Kyon moodset now!

Three am update:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGH. I couldn't fall asleep 'til I completed this entirely. *sobbity* So here it is, my super spifftastic, brown-colored, Kyon-mood and Kyon-iconed themed jounral. It is Kyon-tastic. XD

I have lots of fun making banners 'n at. So if anyone wants a banner made, allow me to do it! I shall have fun and you shall have pretty. 'Specially since I kinda went nuts with the new Floral Brush I got. XD I also got some spiffy new tree brushes so huzzah! That shall be easier...

Yeah, yeah. That isn't very artsy just using some brushes to make a background 'n at but I'm tired! That's an excuse, right?? *doesn't know*

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. Like, for serious dudes. But right now I'm super happy times. As much as I love Yoite, I think I wanna change up my Ij again, if only 'cause the format kills how I can view the cat macros 'n at.

But to change into what, hm...

Meow. This summer, by the way, looks not only to be busy but stressful. DX Why is everything happening at once? Why?! It's not just the move, but it's a combination of things that are gonna hit the fan and send the shit flyin'. Oh joy.

Uh, yeah. If you wanna publish your own manga via TokyoPop? Don't.

Apparently, not only will TokyoPop own your original creation FOREVER, they won't have to pay you or credit you for it.

It's a long post but completely worth the read if you're seriously thinking about using TokyoPop. My favorite line in the contract is this:

“MORAL RIGHTS” AND YOUR CREDIT
“Moral rights” is a fancy term (the French thought it up) that basically has to do with having your name attached to your creation (your credit!) and the right to approve or disapprove certain changes to your creation. Of course, we want you to get credit for your creation, and we want to work with you in case there are changes, but we want to do so under the terms in this pact instead of under fancy French idea. So, in order for us to adapt the Manga Pilot for different media, and to determine how we should include your credit in tough situations, you agree to give up any "moral rights" you might have.

Of course, you still have your rights under this pact to your credit.

Yeah. That's right. Give up the RIGHT to your creation. Say good-bye to your characters, your ideas, your creatures, monsters, castles, worlds, countries, what have you. TokyoPop will own them now and will be able to use them whenever they want, how they want, and don't have to pay you a fuckin' thing.

Good job TokyoPop on being not only morally corrupt but casual assholes about it too.

To those who've read this and feel as disgusted as the others? Spread the word so that less kids will loose the rights to their work.

Mrooooooow. I is gonna be movin' in with my boyfriend. ^.^ It shall be fun times but there's a few drawbacks.

One of them is that since I'm moving out and into an apartment, at most, I can take Whiskers and Tubby Pumpkin with me... Squall won't be able to come along and regrettably no one in my family wants to take care of him. *sniffles* I'm gonna try to see if we talk to any of the apartment building peoples that I can squeeze in the lil' devil, but from what I've seen that's available I'll be lucky if I get Tubby Pumpkin squared away with me. ;-; So, in case he can't come along and my family keeps strong with their decision to not care for the lil' cutie-pie, anyone know who would possibly want a bunneh rabbit or if there's any safe, no-kill shelters I can take him to?

Anozer drawback is that I can't go to Otakon this year, but that's fine with me. So it ain't really much of a drawback. XD I'll just go next year. Chiibi was disappointed, but she'll still have fun. And next year I'll be able to save up the good enough dough for gas, admission, and spendage monies. ^.^ Fun times will be had with better prep (Tekko ain't lookin' too good so that'll be a big money saver).

But I really am stoked about this. We had talked about it 'n at and it made sense to me enough to accept his offer. Though now I'm not sure if I understood it proper. XD Either we're moving into an apartment by August or by sometime next year. I forget (as I tend to forget most things).

Regardless, I'll finally be out of the house. I get to (kinda) decorate something that'll be partially mine. I'm hoping that this experience will finally awaken something in me to finally be financially sound 'n at, y'know? And I get to spend more time with him, which I've only really been able to see him once a week. Hell, anyone who knows me barely gets to hang out with me nowadays. *sad face*

XD This also keeps me one step farther away from becoming a BJD owner, news that will bring some people relief. *laughs*

Heya thar. So how's life for yins? Good? Good.

Dudes, so, check this out.

Daddy was on his way to send Mr. Jones off to Animal Friends when he told his co-worker 'bout him. Well, co-worker mentioned it to Dr. BITCH FROM HELL (long story) and Dr. BITCH FROM HELL happened to know a great Jack Russel Terrior owner. So Daddy gave her a call and the chick was all kinds of excited and wondered when could Daddy bring over Mr. Jones. (Yes I call my Daddy, Daddy)

"Well, actually, he's with me right now."

"Great! C'mon over, I'd love to meet him!"

So, like, seriously. There's SOMETHING watching over Mr. Jones or he's just one lucky fuck. I mean, at first he was about to be put down but Mom took him into our household. Then he ran off but a guy found him that very evening so the entire week Mr. Jones was gone he was warm and snuggly. Now when he's about to go to Animal Friends with an uncertain future, here's this chick with TWO Jack Russel's already and one of them even suffers epilepsy like him, so she already has medication 'n at!

That was one thing I was super, SUPER nervous about. I really, really felt bad 'cause I didn't know Mr. Jones's future. But now I do, I know he's at a great home. Daddy said that when he took Mr. Jones over, Mr. Jones immediately started to play with the other Jack Russel. ^.^ How sweetness is that!?

Mrow, in other news job fuckin' rocks and if you know me VISIT ME. Practically everyone else I've known has visited me at my new job. XD I seriously saw FIVE people today from past jobs at Half Price. 'Twas awesome.

I finally got to hang with Miranda today and it was pretty fun. ^.^ I forgot that once she and I start getting into a converstation, there's no stopping us. She showed me her BJD and GAWD I want my Melbourne one more than ever now. *shakes fist* But yeah when she left I don't know if it was my hyperness or the mocha I had earlier but I cleaned my room. All that's left is to vacumm, which I ain't gonna do at three-thirty in the morning... 'Specially when I go to work at eight fifteen. *UGH*

So... g'night!

ps- The scroller on my mouse broke! ;-;

So I come home and Mom and Dad wanna immediately talk in the garage. I think "great, wtf happened to my account now?". So I get in there and Dad opens up with, "There was an incident yesterday."

I immeidately tense and I'm thinking Holy fuck, not Granma! or along those lines. Mom holds up her hand and says in a calming voice, "now, he didn't break any bone or anything, but he got me real good. He wrenched at my hand."

I feel my heart tighten as I see the band-aid on her hand. It's a small wound, but still. I ask how it happened. Apparently Mom's friend Jenny was over and Mr. Jones was in "SUPER DEFENSIVE THE NEW PERSON IN THE HOUSE IS MIIIINE" mode and kept snapping at Charlie.

Now, a long while back, Mr. Jones had a massive seizure or whatever. He's back to normal, but he has been really aggressive to Charlie as of late. I'm thinkin' that he wants to be second-up to the big guys 'cause that's Charlie's position right now. Hal, Darlin', Charlie, Mr. Jones, Luna. But I digress.

So anyway, Mom lets me know that Charlie and Mr. Jones were gettin' into it. So Mom went to seperate them when Mr. Jones grabs the side of her hand, gives a big yank, and then releases. Mom also told me at that point she exclaimed in pain and Hal Cruz came RUNNING into the room on full alert. Hal can kick Mr. Jones's ass, the poor boy has the scar to prove it (as do I).

And a thought raced through my heart "Holy shit, if he got Mom for that what if it was someone else?". Mom echoed my thinking when she said in a slow voice that what raced through her head after Jones got her was what if that was Josie or Olivia. Josie and Oliva are two little girls who sometimes come to visit. Both of them stand a little bit taller than Charlie and I have to agree with Mom. This is the first time Mr. Jones bit someone when we were breaking up a fight. Usually he just snarls and glares at you as if you're taking him away from the fight of his life.

So it's been decided. After about a year or so living with four other dogs and some cats that it just isn't working out for my baby. We're going to take him to Animal Friends and I KNOW that he'll be taken care of there. They know their dog breeds and they'll ensure that he gets a good home without other dogs around him. I mean, he's a great dog when there's no other dogs around. He's placid, he attentive, he gives lots of lovings and doesn't growl or snap or anything.

I'll admit it. I'm tearing up at the thought of Mr. Jones going away. But when he bit Mom, which I view as a different situation than the one that happened last October, that fear that he might snap at one of the little kids or one of our guests that come by (and trust me, at my house? Constantly someone's over) with his growing aggression towards Charlie, it's just too much.

I know he'll get a good home. He's going to go on Thursday, so I wish him the very best. Until then I'll keep huggin' him and TRY not to cry when the day comes.

I defintely know someone who'll be relieved like crazy. Whiskers. XD "I'm finally free, whoo hoo!"

Whee! While not as nice 'n white as it was before, it's a bit purply, but I enjoy it thoroughly. ^.^

...

Though I should've been doing laundry. D'oh!

Flying Eagle.

I wuv my new job but I had expected some relaxation in my hours. I don't really have as much freedom as I did when I was part-time. But I'm figuring that I gotta tough it out. After all, this is what I want my career to be. A manager of a book store. It looks like HPB is defintely the way to go. They promote amongst the workers (one of the main major guys at the head of the place worked at HPB for 30 years while the CEO herself actually started working when she was 15 at the very first location) and from what my manager was telling me it seems that they promote fairly fast.

Thanks to the shit I had to log through Pat Catan's, I know better than to hold my breath. I know to expect some setbacks 'n disappointments. Regardless, I can't help but feel excited. Even though I've been working since I was sixteen, I guess I'm still guilible about the idea of good companies that are fair to their workers.

I was really excited when I got my first paycheck. It was more money than my account's ever SEEN in my six-year retail/food career. I'm hoping that this means that saving up money's gonna be a lot easier 'n at.

I know that my planning is selfish and is far from my ideal goal, but I figure... I'm young. There's back-up plans. And what I want really isn't all that much money. I first wanna save up some dough to go to Otakon in August. One, because I've never been there and I'd like to see what a HUGE anime convention's like. Two, Tekko was a bust and I really want to have fun at an anime convention. Three, this super creepy guy who's known my friend only online for 'bout a month or two now plans to take her somewhere private and ask her out.

Uhm, NO.

I don't care if he's a youth group leader or if he's an innocent guy who's never had sex or has never been on a date before. In the past women have been taken advantage of situations like this and, as sexist as I'm about to sound, I can't trust him. Chiibi is TINY. Under a hundred pounds and under five feet tiny! I'm not gonna fuckin' trust some stranger to take her to a private area to "ask her out"!

I've already explicitly expressed my dislike of his actions to him, but he still seems resolved. So even though Chiibi's already going with a few friends (one female, three BIG MALES who used to love her but now consider her a sister), I'm coming along as added insurance. I'm not too sure why, but I'm feeling really close to Chiibi lately. I think it's 'cause when I told her that I would be sure to follow her and her friends since I didn't want to impose on their tradition (they've been going to Otakon for years), she immediately piped with "No way, I'm going with you! ^.^". I was touched.

Anyway, the second item I want to save my money up for is... is... a Ball Jointed Doll. >.< I still can't understand my irrational desire to own one. My friend, Lin, invited me over to her house where I played with one of her dolls.

OMG THEIR CLOTHING IS SO CUTE. I was looking at a wicked pair of boots and thinking "Why can't they make these for PEOPLE?" And when I thought about owning a Melbourne MSD (the size I want), I got really excited. It'd be cool to have one, y'know? I know it's gonna sit on my shelf and collect dust sometimes, but... They're really fun to dress up.

I already have a fashion doll thanks to Lin. Her name is Ellowyne Wilde, the one in the pretty white dress. I really fell in love with her and Lin said that she was up for adoption, I was all "Oooh, really?!". When it was time for me to go home, Lin was all "Don't forget your doll" and I felt super happy. She's on my dresser next to my super sexy Squall figurine.

I think I might be turning into a doll person, no matter their creepy factor.

Regardless, there's whole bunches of other shit in the summer too. Summer's can be too damn fun. You have Kennywood, concerts, camping, and it's just BLEGH. I wanna do fun shit but I wanna save money as well...

I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I get there, as unreasonable and immature as that sounds.

Usually when randomsome1 finds something interesting to post about, I stumble onto something interesting and, fueled by her post, will also post something. XD So huzzah for band wagon?

Apparently, a New York columnist allowed her nine-year-old son to ride the subway alone. She got a helluva lot of critism for it, but also recieved lots of praise.

I praise her, for one. I mean, it's slightly ridiculous how parents monitour their children these days. For instance, my cousin had refused to allow her son to walk to his elementary school which could be viewed from their backyard.

I'm wondering if it's BECAUSE of how parents are insanely strict on their kids that we get all of these crazy videos popping up over YouTube, like the one where several girls gang up on one poor soul (with the crazy girls' mothers going "She (victim) shouldn't be spouting out crap if she ain't gonna back it up!").

Granted, the world may not seem like the simple place it was yesteryear, but let's look at the facts. Cell phones can be equipped with GPS technology. You have tons of people hyped up on child abduction that undoubtedly if something were to happen, complete strangers would be at that child's aid (I mean, we have Code Adam for one). There's hardly a place around that isn't monitored via camera. And even though there's been bad rap on the police a while back, they are still there to protect people. Not to mention the good-natured people who'll help out others.

I can recall a few young adult novels I read that were from back in the 1960s (I LOVE that time setting for these novel things). It's like this, Cat is set in New York, where the main character (14-15) roamed around the streets, got in scuffles, but managed to get home every night. Now, granted, it's fiction. But the author based her character a little bit off of her and her guy friend and their experiences back in the day. They were raised with the ability for independant decisions.

Now those people are parents and aren't treating their kids with the same respect. Now, I know that they must be afraid of everything that their kid'll be exposed to, but they're forgetting a really important factor; their experiences taught them valuable lessons for life. Kids who don't get those lessons will learn them at a much older age, when learning is apparently a bit harder then when we ran around with runny noses.

All in all... Good going New York lady!

So my former co-worker Lin is super awesome. She's into Avatar: The Last Airbender, cartoons, and just now checking out anime/manga. She's also A LOT older than I am. And she's in the world of BJD, Dollfies, or, as I call 'em, Soul Suckers.

These things are creepy. But I want one. Badly.

I really, REALLY want to make a Melbourne one. Thus far, I've managed to find a price range that's under one hundred dollars. *cries* Why do I want one? WRY!? It's a DOLL. It's gonna sit beside Squall on my dresser and I'm not gonna play with it or anything. Hell, I probably won't have a chance to take it out all the time 'cause, y'know, I work and none of my friends want this kinda thing shoved in their faces...

But the thought of owning a Melbourne Lee Patterson dollfie and dressing him up 'n at... It overrides my desire not to own one. >.<; Lin invited me to go to Borders when the doll club she's part of meets. I'm gonna bring Squall over and check it out... And... I might get one... I dunno... I'll also make a date with Miranda and see how much she likes her Andrew doll and how Trask went about to get it for her...

MNYAR.

I DID IT. It's, what, five thirty in the morning now, but I've changed my journal AND added a spiffy new feature; my mood set! ^.^ Bishies galore!

...

I'm so tired...

I'm gonna try to redesign my journal 'cause of a new hottie I've just discovered named Yoite from Nabari no Ou. WUV WUV WUV.

Heya everybody! I was gone the whole weekend, havin' a blast at Tekko! ^.^ The massively short summary goes as follows:

-Arrived at teh Tekko and got badges 'n at then went to Artist Alley and waited for 'bout an hour before me an' Chiibi could go set up. Got the furthest room away from everything in the corner of cornerz. We still made out gudz. randomsome1 arrived soon after and fun times were had!

-Sat and sold boxes/had fun, walked around a bit and spent moo-lah, made moo-lah, took piccies of sweet cosplayers, played some video games. Wash, rinse, repeat two times.

-Got scolded at for something we didn't even know by the MASTER OF SOMETHING OR ANOTHER WHO INSISTED ON SHOUTING WITH A STRICT VOICE THAT WOULD SEND FIRST GRADERS INTO PANIC. (Too bad all of us were over five-years-old)

-Got stickers to make laptop pretty. Found out that laptop doesn't have ISP address 'n at or Microsoft Werd. Shall fix this. It already has Atticus, musicka, and Open Canvas. Plus Solitare! Oh how I've missed Solitare...

-Ordered Chinese and waited for the guy to deliver at the lobby area. Watched his horror-stricken face as he entered the hotel to the cries of dozens of fangirls/fanboys chanting "YAOI YAOI YAOI" in a very 300-type fashion.

-Watched AMVs. They are funny. Watched fanbrats go spazzy. They are funnier.

( Just 'bout 15 or so pictures beneath cut! )

This post has been Cid Approved.

Alright! Finally got around to updating this (something's up with my browser, nyar).

I'm all kinds of frantic 'cause I've put off the things I have to do for Tekko. DX I still need to make four... five. Five graphics for the boxes that are mostly already painted. WHOO. Plus gotta clean 'n do laundry 'n at 'cause chiibi's gonna be staying over, huzzah is had!

But I'm stoked. It's gonna be fun this year like every year. XD I'm mostly lookin' forward to Brawlin' with some other SSB fans. Tee hee. I've been practicin' up my Ike and Ice Climbers. I think I'll do fairly well.

My other plans include karaoke with Chiibi on God Knows from Haruhi. XD I'm hoping my voice will be MUCH better than how I sung when I played Rock Band over at randomsome1's. Heh!

Other than the funness of Tekko, I'm pretty okay. Kinda pissed that it took me two years to finally realize that my work's been using me. *sigh* They were all 'WE CAN'T AFFORD FULL TIME BLAH BLAH BLAH', then I find out that they're gonna hire someone as full time. WTF, I hate you, go to hell, fuckin' bastards, the whole nine yards. I'm mostly mad at myself for getting walked over all this time.

So after Tekko I'm gonna go on a search for a decent job aaaaaaand... I'll eventually go to Carol Harris Staffing or whatever and find something for temp if I can't find a good retail job. *le sigh* I wanna go the dentist, sugar hurts. *cries*

Is anyone else having problems with Ij loading the ads and, subsequensly, the toolbar to actually do stuff to your account? Like, for instance, updating your journal? I'm editing this existing post 'cause for the past few days, the option to update me good ol' journal hasn't happened...

There's an amazing job opportunity at work for me. A life-changing one, sort of. One that will ensure that I have a plan for a proper adult-like future, complete with at least a year or two living on my own (before I move in with a certain sweet someone) and other such fun times. A future with financial security and benefits that will allow me to finally visit the dentist or doctor (I haven't seen both in a long time... with the exception of the ER. DX ).

I'm 95% sure that I'll get it. I mean, I'm the best candidate! I have the experience, I know the customers/regulars/troublemakers, I get along with the floor personal and the cashiers, the front's never in chaos when I'm in charge, I'm flexible with hours, I actually work (when randomsome1 isn't distracting me. XD), I have no other commitments like jobs or kids, I'm young thus ensuring that I'll stay at the position for a long time, I want retail to be my career, and I'm perky, smiley, and cheerful damnit!

And that's how I went into the interview. I told them that I'm the best person for the job and told them why. To which they liked and I appreciated the honesty about what they said about me (apparently my "mood swings" affects the whole store. O_o; WTF. Hey Winged, it's me Margaret!). Though I'll admit I didn't appreciate my boss imitating my perky attitude... Regardless, they told me about the other two who tried out for the position... and how the one that already has full time is in the lead for the job title. Mainly because they wouldn't have to create a new full time position.

I can understand this. Businesses aren't doing too well what with price increases and the like. But they advertised a new position. Which means that they had the resources to make the position, otherwise why would they put out a bulliten about it? *shakes hand* Eh, doesn't matter. What matters is...

That 5% where I might've not gotten the job? Exists and is becoming a pretty big factor. I'm going to find out tomorrow if I got it or not. If I do, sweet! Hello benefits and my very first full time job! If I don't, then it's time to move on. Student loans are here and they're hungry. And I'm sick of deferring. I want to pay 'em off. I want to be able to make my car payments on a timely basis (and stop fuckin' up my Granma's credit). I want to start actually saving money for emergencies and for an apartment. I want my car to stop breaking down, it's Japanese-made damnit! I want to decorate my living space and finally say "It's mine!". I want to start living a life instead of... existing. I love my parents and I really appreciate what they're doing for me. I love to go online and veg out... But it's wearing me down.

I want responsibilties. I want to come home to an empty apartment where I can blast music (kind of) and clean or do dishes or watch Whiskers swat at Squall's attempts of love-making while Tubby Pumpkin lazily watches on her fat ass. I want to invite him over to spend a nice evening of Wii or other equally attractive activities. I want to have Trask over with M and Baby!Trask or Random or Chiibi or Sunrise and not worry about Greyhounds and parents and siblings and cousins and if the house smells and who'll get into my business or who will chat about what and all of this that I'm sinking into essentially.

I guess in layman's terms... I want to grow-up?