InsaneJournal

Current location:	Irwin House
Current mood:	drained
Current music:	Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To
Entry tags:	parental unit issues

Two posts in one day, WTF
Dunno, felt like sayin' some thoughts... And wishing I'd fall asleep already. *not cool, yo*



Talking to Katie tonight and hearing her tell me about how much pressure and guilt Mom and Dad were putting on her just 'cause she hadn't found a job yet really reminded me of what it was like to be in that household.

I really, really love my parents. I love everything they had done for me and sacrificed for me. But man, they really were suffocating most of the time. If it wasn't one thing, it was something else.

I have massive respect for my mother, but we'll always be on two different pages. I can remember my early years in community college and her waking me up at 7 am complaining that I didn't wash out her panty hose and that I had to march down RIGHT NOW and go fetch them for her. I remember her telling me that my friends were trash and that I should be embarrassed about them. How anime was stupid and how my hobby was influencing me wrongly.

Heh! I remember back in high school, I did the mistake of telling her one of my more private joys after breaking up with my first boyfriend (bleh was he a gross guy...). I told her that I loved to torture men in my head (hell, I still do XD). She went on a huge rant about how that isn't what God wanted for me and that I had to accept God into my life and blah blah blah. When we got back into the house, she made me rip out drawings in my notebook that had men being tortured!! And when I tried to tell her that I thought I was a lesbian, she looked at me straight in the eye and said "No you aren't".

She'd complain ALL THE TIME about how she lived with slobs and how disgusting we were. I can kind of agree with that, but you know what was the slobby part? Leaving socks in our shoes in the foyer. A glass of water overnight on the coffee table. MY UNMADE BED, OH NO!!! I think the grossest thing we left out was a plate with crumbs on it. The horror!!! But like I said, I can kinda understand. I may not have my house as clean as hers, but I hate it when there's a PILE of crap on anything and will clean it after a few days.

High school had to be the worst though. She'd really lay into me about all sorts of things. About how I wasn't dressing up properly (she still does that. Thnx Mom, I'm an adult now!), how I wasn't acting like a NORMAL girl. Shit like that...

I think why I'm remembering all of this now is 'cause Katie's going through it. I also find it kind of ironic. She was always the one defending Mom to me 'n at. Tonight, Katie used 'fuck' more times than her ENTIRE life. She's tired of Mom and Dad guilting her about the job 'n at and how everyone has had to make sacrifices. Yeah, like what? Mom and Dad are still kayaking every other weekend. They're still smoking the expensive cigarettes. And apprently Mom had just bought 40 bucks worth of clothes the other day. FOURTY. What does Katie do? Asks for money to go bowling. BOWLING. Which is, y'know, the whole reason why she's in UMES!

Ah. The circle. It is complete. XD

I really do love my parents. But I am SO GLAD that Kuro asked if we could move together. I love seeing him every day and the two of us being in charge of our own household. I'm not so naive that our situation is problem-free (problems being on MY end *boo*), but I'm doing the best I can for us. *smilesmile* I love being an adult!



I NEED TO SLEEP NOW, WHERE IS MY BOYFRIEND?! XDXD